Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Musings of a Skinny Jean Convert (Guest Post)

The Skinnies That Changed It All!
Welcome to our very first guest post! I suspect that you may see and hear more from Andrea (our guest poster) in future. I have to say that she was probably one of the first (if not THE first) person that showed me that one didn't have to be a skinnybitch in order to embody good fashion, and to look effin' great. So, she taught me a few things about fashion, and I guess, I might have opened her eyes to something as well.

I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard about skinny jeans. It was the summer of 2006. I know because it was the summer before I became a mom, so I was still reasonably fashionable. (Translation: I still bought clothes for myself and didn’t clothes shop vicariously through my two daughters). It was the very same day I heard the expression “muffin top.” Low rise jeans were all the rage, and as my girlfriends and I chuckled about this pastry-inspired term one of them said she heard that tapered jeans were coming back.

My, how we laughed. “That will NEVER catch on!!!!” we cackled, as visions of safety pins danced in our heads. Yet, slowly but surely, these blasts from my elementary school past infiltrated modern society. Even teenage BOYS were wearing skinny jeans! But I refused.

“Self” I said, “Something might be in fashion, but ugly is ugly (see recent floral jeans trend). Over the years I have embraced my generous hips and have become astute to what is flattering on me and what is downright horrifying, which I’ll admit has resulted in me dressing more conservatively than I would like to.

Giving it a shot... but no.

The endless battle with gaining/losing/regaining baby weight has only exacerbated my timid fashion nature. Still, the more I saw skinny jeans on other people the more they started to infiltrate my psyche.  But I dug in my heels HARD and insisted they were not for me. Just because they looked great on tall, emo waifs didn’t mean I was going to delude myself about my proportions and dress my lower half like an ice cream cone in an effort to stay current. I continued to wear my hipster flare jeans with reckless abandon and assured myself that I wasn’t walking around like a Much Retro video. I celebrated the fleeting wide leg/flare “comeback,” which, sadly, didn’t stick. Alas, there was no end in sight for the skinny jean, so, 6 years later, reluctantly, I tried on a pair while killing time at the mall. “I’ll just wear it with long cardigans to camouflage my hips and with tall boots to balance out the ice cream cone” and “it’s just like wearing capris that go all the way down to the ankle” are examples of my internal monologue. Taking a deep breath, I made my way into Forever 21’s change room full of trendy teenagers and tried on a pair. Shockingly, they looked more than just ok, they looked GOOD. Was it skinny mirrors in the dressing room? Or a simple case of being exposed to something ugly for so long that it starts to look attractive? My brain could not process. Whatever the case, they were flattering. And bonus—they were only $15. I practically danced my 33-year-old mom self out of the store, elated to embrace “what the kids were wearing” and still having money left for groceries, baby wipes, and a bottle of red wine. I texted my good friend Erin, (co-blogger of Curvouture) to tell her all about it. She texted in response, “You’ll never go back.”

That was summer 2012, and in less than a year I have bought FIVE more pairs of skinny jeans and my hipster flares continue to collect dust in my closet. Sometimes I even dare to forego the long cardigan and wear my skinny jeans with a top that (GASP!) hits just below my waist—my hips exposed in all their full figure glory. I have evolved. I am current. This spring/summer I may even go hog wild and wear them with FLATS.

On Andrea: (top right image) Black skinnies: Ricki's (Their sizing looks odd; check their measurements); Top: Ricki's (bottom left image) Floral crops: Additionelle; Sweater: Additionelle (can't find the exact one online! Whaa? Here's an alternative from them.)

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